Question by Sapphire R: How is my Story so far?
This is Extract Three ( See previous Questions) of my story.
Tell me what you think.
*
“Excuse me, but don’t you think that we should try to save them, save somebody?” the man said, and Jay stared at him.
“Save ourselves, that’s what I think we should do” he said arrogantly.
“Look. I don’t think we can really, just walk away from the city without trying to help, but we won’t be able to help many people anyway. Get a couple of people to leave if we can and then we need to get out of here” I said and the man tiled his head to the side, trying to work out if that was a good idea.
“Fine” Jay said, and the man stood there by the bridge, waiting for us to save someone.
“Wait! Aren’t you going to help?”
The man laughed. “No. I was gonna but, seeing as someone else can do it, I think I’d feel better just leaving you to it”
“Saving your own skin?” Jay said bitterly and the man nodded.
“You were going to do the same” he said as he jogged across the bridge, to what would soon become a refugee camp.
“This is all your fault” Jay said, angrily as we ran back into the city.
“Yeah, but I don’t think I’d feel pretty good tomorrow, would I? If we hadn’t helped, I mean”
He looked at me with the most sorrow filled eyes. “It’s not about being happy right now. It’s about getting out of this deathtrap.”
“You don’t care?”
Jay hesitated before shrugging.
The people back home hadn’t cared either. They were happy to leave people to suffer as long as they got away free themselves.
“You’re just like them” I whispered.
“So what if I am? Maybe it just mean’s I’m a survivor!” he said, his tone icy cold.
“Well what does that make me?” I asked, stepping forward threateningly.
“Hey, look. We shouldn’t change what we already know’s gonna happen. It’s like the rule back in well, our time, yeah? Don’t change the past. Well tommorrow, just treat it like the past. Treat it like it’s already happened.”
“How can you be so heartless?”
“Back home. They were almost as ‘heartless’ as I’m being now. You didn’t complain then”
“Then I didn’t have a choice. Then I had a home. Then I didn’t have visions about something that’s literally about to happen; it was of things days, weeks into the future. It wasn’t so direct”
Jay just shook his head.
Best answer:
Answer by Kiliko
In my humble opinion…
It’s alright. You need to work on grammar, thought.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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