Question by CandyLandCondoResident: What do I do about my 5 year old’s bad attitude?
My 5 year old has always been a good boy, but recently he has started to argue, talk back, and say some mean things to me (his mom) and to his 2 yr old brother. When I give a time out he will continue to make smart aleck comments like “I don’t care. . ” to see if it gets under my skin or he will take things out on his brother and push him or take a toy from him. Also, he also doesn’t do things the first time I ask, and I find myself using time outs and counting as a threat more and more each day. This concerns me and I’m not sure how to deal. I want to use positive discipline and teach behavior rather than punish with consequences, but the meanness really gets to me sometimes. Example: It’s hot outside and he asks for some water from my water bottle. I say he can have a little but to save some for his brother. Instead he chugs it all and then says in a sing song voice, “too bad, so sad, none left.” How do I turn this behavior around?
That’s so funny, I just checked that very book out today at the library!!! I was reading it just now.
I love the book recommendations.
Best answer:
Answer by J S
There is a great book called “How to behave so your children will too”. It answered many questions I had. It helped me not feel so “mean”. I was able to stay consistent.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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Take away some of HIS favroite toys and see how he likes it. Continiue to do that until he learns.
well i had a 22 and 5 yr old too… boy was it a load. i just had to lay down the law and really put down some ground rules. you must try and reinforce the good behavior. u tell the older one you are the big brother! u should be kind and loving to your little brother he loves you soo much! then u find things your boys love to to together… than if the older one acts up u say no u share or dont fight or don’t hit your brother or what ever.etc. and u punish him for it. then when he does something nice to his brother like shares than u make a sticker chart and tell him everytime he does soemthing nice to his brother than he gets to but a sticker on his chart. (they love to do that) and when he is bad remind him he wont get a sticker for that if he keeps it up… also bribes work wanders! any more questions and just email me i have plenty of experience and i watch Dr. Phil!!!!!!!!
I would plan an outing to somewhere he really wants to go to.
KNow in your heart ahead of time that you are going to lay down the law first. Talk about this fabulous place, ice cram store, mcDonald,s whatever.
THen when he strays from the behaviour rules you have set, take away the outing.Make sure you set this up in advance, so he knows the behaviours, knows the treat , and gets it taken away.
THis can help reinforce the positive praise for positive behaviours, and you can also treat him like he obviously wants to be treated since he treats his sibling poorly. I would also talk to his teacher and ask for support there too.
enough with the time outs, obviously they’re not working, your kid needs a spanking
There are a number of texts you could consult. I would recommend the following:
1. Bringing up boys by James Dobson
2. Shepherding a child’s heart by Tedd Tripp
These are books that are written by Christians and their recommendations are biblically based. Please take a look at them, they are full of wisdom.
Best Regards,
Docmase