Question by : What do you think of the book im writting? [Long]?
THIS IS STILL IN PROCESS – PLEASE GIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM I WILL TAKE ANY ADVICE THAT WILL HELP.
Before you read: This book is about a girl named Gloria growing up in the 70s, throughout the book Gloria its pressured too do many things, some things she might regret. In this book Gloria learns to love herself and accept her flaws. I would consider this a funny and dramatic book.
“Hi, i’m Gloria Beatrice Kettle and I would like to get a Job!” Gloria practiced this line over and over again in her bathroom mirror but every time she did it sounded worst then the last time. Gloria cleared her voice again “Hello, Im Gloria Kettle i was hoping i can get a job here.” she spoke this time with a calmer tone, but still Gloria didn’t like it. “Good Afternoon, i’m Gloria- i saw your shop had a ‘help wanted’ sign outside, i was hoping you’d still have some positions available?” This was it, Gloria was happy with that line she would tell the Old man that owned the Flower Shop. She smiled at the mirror, and looked at herself. She quickly tightened her pony tail and grabbed her book bag. As Gloria headed down the stairs her mom called her in. She sounded worried, “Sweetie you havn’t been eating breakfast” she said, Gloria stood up straight “Mom, i am now 15 years old i need to start watching my figure since i am becoming a women” She responded. Regardless her mom handed her a muffin “Come straight home from school” she said, Gloria was already heading out the door “Cant! i’m going to the flower shop and get a job!” she yelled as she began walking to school. On the way walking as always, Roger would meet her at the old abandoned yellow house. Roger was her best friend. “You gonna eat that?” was the first thing she said, she handed him the muffin and they started walking to school. Gloria wasn’t the most popular girl in the school, in fact, she wasn’t known at all. It bothered Gloria sometimes but whenever she and roger hung out she felt like she didn’t need anymore friends. Roger wasn’t the most popular kid in the school either, in fact- he spent most of his time after school in the science lab trying out and building all types of inventions. He would sometimes get Gloria too test it out, he loved spending time with Gloria as much as she did with him. Roger was average height and a bit lanky, his hair was jet black and always kept neat. He didn’t spend much time worrying about his appearance since he didn’t have anyone to impress. Gloria on the other hand would always try to change something about herself, Her long brown hair was the only thing that didnt though, it was always part in the middle with long flowing waves. She would always try to be in style but her parents didn’t want to spoil her just because she was an only child. “Your hairs different today” Roger said, Gloria looked at him curiously “What made you notice?” “Well, you always have your hair down- everytime i see you your hair is down so i would notice” “Oh, well do you like it?” “Its alright..” Roger said as if he didn’t care, “I read this magazine and they say the more skin you show your most likely too get approached.” “Why do you care about what a magazine says?” “Because Roger, well– your wouldn’t understand because your guy.” “Oh well, whatever- i like your hair down.” Gloria didn’t say anything afterwards.
Best answer:
Answer by Ash
Its really good! I really wanna keep reading it 🙂
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You really, really need to work on your grammar and spelling skills if you want to start writing a book. Learn to format it correctly too please!